Discussion Strategies

Friday, May 12, 2017

Key Bible Verse: Starting a quarrel is like a leak in a dam, so stop it before a fight breaks out. (Proverbs 17:14, NCV)

Dig Deeper: Proverbs 14:29, 1 Thessalonians 5:11, 1 Peter 4:8

When you or your wife are overly tired, emotionally upset, or sick, never discuss important matters that involve potential disagreement.

Set aside a special agreed-upon time every day to take up issues that involve making decisions, family business, disagreements, and problems. This “Decision Time” should allow for the relaxed and uninterrupted discussion of all decision-making and problem-solving activities. No other activities should be involved, such as eating, driving, or watching television. Take the phone off
the hook.

Some couples have found it helpful to save all complaints about their marriage, disagreements, and joint decisions for the scheduled Decision Time when these matters are taken up. Jot down items as they arise. When you pose a problem or lodge a complaint, be specific as to what you want from the other person. Do you want anger, defensiveness, resistance, and continuation of the problem? Or do you want openness, cooperation, and a change on the part of the other person? The way you approach the problem will determine your spouse’s response.

– H. Norman Wright in Bringing out the Best in Your Wife

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