A World of Possibilities for “Untied Guys”

by Paul H. Boge

What is the purpose of being single?

Singleness isn’t always a welcomed place for men to be, especially in what can seem to be a marriage culture. While
some of us see singleness as a blessing, others of us find it a challenge and wonder what God is up to.

The Bible teaches us that God uses single men in profound ways. Jesus is the perfect example as well as Elijah, Jeremiah and Paul, among others. These were men who found their identity not in being ‘not-married’ but in finding their relationship with God to be all-sufficient.

Men like these served God with their whole heart. They were convinced that singleness was how God chose to use them in their specific mission.

Is that how we are seeing our singleness?

Are we seeing it as a God-given opportunity to serve Him?

All great single men of the Bible were sold out for God. They didn’t cram their lives full of activity in an effort to drown out loneliness, nor did they waste time by living for themselves. Instead they consistently did at least three things: they surrendered their situation as it was to God, they listened to him moment by moment, and they obeyed him in what they heard. Notice Christ’s example:

Surrender – I have come down from heaven not to do my own will, but the will of Him who sent me. (John 6:38)

Listening – But Jesus Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray. (Luke 5:16)

Obeying – For whatever the Father does, these things the Son also does in like manner. (John 5:19)

This is the great surrender. The chief aim of every man. The giving up of everything to be used for God’s Kingdom.

This is your shot. This is your chance. This is your God-given opportunity to obey and go all out for Christ—to surrender, listen and obey Him to be used by Him in a way that would be different if you were married. God has a specific calling for you in being single in this moment. Just as you will have a specific calling if God brings you into a relationship.

God doesn’t promote either marriage or singleness over the other. Both are important. Both are tools that he uses. But He uses the  single man to accomplish His will in a different way than He uses the married man. God did not call Jeremiah to marriage. But He did call Joseph to become Mary’s husband.

Oswald Chambers said “God engineers our circumstances.” Does that include singleness? Sure it does!

Be encouraged—true singleness is discovering that God has uniquely ordained this time in your life to further His kingdom. God is the ultimate engineer. The question is, are we following His design or are we living for ourselves?

Still, even while listening and serving the LORD, there can be moments when that peace is challenged as the months and years continue to tick away and things haven’t yet worked out. In those times, the words of Johnny Cash can be of great help. He paraphrased the words of the Apostle Paul, who also underwent a great conversion. Paul says to us: “You are complete in Him.” Cash echoes the words of Paul when he sings:

“I’ve got Jesus and that’s enough.”

What do we need more than Jesus? Nothing. We are already complete. And that’s the secret—finding our fulfillment in Christ. Knowing that we are loved and accepted by God as we are, without having to perform for Him to get it.

So where do we go from here?

Maybe this means getting up an hour earlier to surrender time in worshipping and listening the LORD. Maybe this means putting away the distractions in your life to make yourself fully available evenings and weekends to be used by God for His purpose—to help with the boys club, open your home to other single men, start a sports program, minister to the poor and sick.

God is waiting to tell you. He is waiting to use you. He is waiting to make His will known to you—to spend time with you.

“We are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:10).

Have a look at your life.

What are the works He has prepared for you to do? What has God uniquely designed you as a single to do in building His kingdom? What gifts has God placed in your heart?

He will tell you.


Paul H. Boge is an author, a filmmaker and an engineer. He’s single and lives in Winnipeg, Manitoba.