Two People, One Heart


Put Your Wife First

Key Bible Verse: In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife loves himself. (Ephesians 5:28, ESV)

Dig Deeper: Mark 10:6-9

When two people marry, they become one.  Here is a perspective that became a game-changer in my own marriage.  The perspective is what I have come to call the One Heart Principle.  It is this: In marriage, when I wound or hurt or trample on my wife’s heart, I am really doing the same to my own heart.  Or the more positive way to look at it is this: When I enhance my spouse’s heart, I am really enhancing my own at the same time.

This is a no-brainer.  It is almost too simple to be true.  If, by God’s design, my wife and I are one, then when I hurt my wife, I hurt myself too.  On the other hand, when I build her heart, I also build up myself.  That is the powerful dynamic of oneness.  Think about it.  The subtle or not-so-subtle verbal shots you take at your wife may make sense in your head in the heat of the moment, but they are not damage free.  They might appear innocent.  They might even be part of the how-we-relate-to-each-other script that has played itself out over the years.  But they are not innocent, and they always result in damage – to her and to yourself.

– Doug Fields in 7 Ways to Be Her Hero

My Response: How would the One Heart principle change the way I interact with my wife?

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